Questions to Ask Yourself When Creating Boundaries
There’s never been a more important time to practice creating and maintaining boundaries than during your pregnancy. Unfortunately, too many pregnant women know all to well what it feels like to have someone project on to them traumatic birth stories. What can feel even worse than this, is when you excitedly share your own vision for your birth and it is met with negativity and fear.
Before sharing your birth vision ask yourself the following questions…
Does this person express negativity towards pregnancy and birth? If so, what will be gained from sharing my vision with them?
Will I need to justify myself or convince this person in any way that my choices are valid?
Is this person likely to project their own fears, doubts or negative experiences onto me?
If it is a yes to any of these questions, consider the importance of protecting your vision and keeping it to yourself.
Know that sharing your birthing plans is completely your decision, however, sharing is not in itself necessary for manifesting your dream birth.
If you find yourself in a position of listening to a traumatic birth story, remember that you can still be kind and loving towards this person while also maintaining your own boundaries. You may choose to politely redirect the conversation, distance yourself or leave completely.
Remind yourself during or after hearing a negative or traumatic story that “this will not be my story…I choose to give this story back and not take it on”. You may choose to envision a protective bubble forming around you, repelling any of the fear or negativity that is being projected towards you.
When choosing your birth supports remember to centre yourself.
Birth is not the time for healing your relationship with your Mum or sister.
It is not an educational opportunity for your friend.
Birth is not a party or a spectator sport.⠀
Be honest and ask yourself, could I be my most vulnerable in front of this person? Can I imagine pooping, bleeding, moaning, swearing, and being naked in front of this person?
Will they hold space for me and exalt me in my birthing power? Or will I feel observed and pressured by their presence?
Do they have ego issues? Does every situation somehow become about them? If so, inviting them into your sacred birthing space is not likely to be a good idea.
Who is present at your birth and where you birth are two of the most important decisions you will make – be honest with yourself and choose wisely.
Begin by creating and maintaining your boundaries. Now is an opportunity to take the actions that align with the experience of birth you want to manifest, to raise your self-worth and truly honour what you really need as a birthing woman. Don’t be afraid to make yourself the priority. It’s not selfish. It’s completely necessary in order to create the conditions and environment you need to optimally give birth.
“Who is present at your birth and where you birth are two of the most important decisions you will make – be honest with yourself and choose wisely”
Much love
Genna Del Bianco
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