4 Steps for Re-parenting Yourself
My journey through my first pregnancy not only asked of me, but demanded that I truly start caring and showing up for myself.
My own re-parenting process is still very much a daily practice (and FAR from perfect). It also didn’t stop when my baby was born. If anything, my awareness of my own wounds, needs and shadow only deepened after his birth and he became an even greater mirror for me.
Re-parenting yourself in pregnancy and new motherhood looks like…
Self-discipline and keeping simple daily promises to yourself
For me this has involved gradually building into my day rituals and daily habits that support and ground me in my life– and then sticking with them for as long as they’re still serving me, despite the resistance that can arise with change and growth.
Making a promise to myself around my own self-care and then following through, shows me that I can trust and lean on myself. That I am here for me, rather than waiting for someone externally to make me feel safe. Giving what I need to myself, in order to make myself feel safe and loved.
This can be as simple as making sure I sit down to a cup of tea every day. Creating a simple 10 minute morning meditation & yoga practice. Or getting outside into the sunshine every morning by 11am.
Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you’re growing your self-trust and self-worth.
Seeing self-care as not a luxury but a radical act of self-love, healing and sovereignty
For me, this has involved a focus on the quality of my sleep (e.g bed by 9pm, blackout curtains or eye mask), detox practices (including morning tongue scraping, oil pulling and body brushing), opting for nutrient dense foods (eliminating processed foods as much as possible), daily meditation practices, daily movement and re-connecting with nature in the most basic ways.
Reconnecting with your inner joy and child-self
This can be in the form of play, silliness, connecting with others and being creative – essentially doing whatever feels fun for you. Simply loosening up and not taking ourselves or life so seriously. By returning to present moment through play and joy, we’re able to fully and authentically connect with our babies, whether they’re in utero or right in front of us
Emotional regulation and calming your nervous system
For me this primarily involves daily meditation. This can look like, left-nostril breathing while breastfeeding, getting up early before my toddler wakes to do a quick 10 minute meditation, or doing a walking meditation with my baby in the ergo carrier.
Journaling, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) aka “tapping”, and breathwork exercises are also essential practices for alleviating anxiety as it arises and returning to my “rest and digest” state. I am a big advocate of Kundalini Yoga breathwork meditations and “inner child” journaling.
Through calming my nervous system and grounding, I am better able to separate myself from my thoughts and bring awareness to the dramas, cyclical fear-based thinking and personas within my mind. This allows me to actively choose where I place my attention.
Our parents weren't always able give us what we needed as children, often simply because it was never given to them. However, it is really our responsibility as adults to begin re-parenting ourselves. It is only through meeting our own needs that we will teach our children how to love, care and value themselves and others.
I'm interested, what does re-parenting look like for you?
“Every time you keep a promise to yourself, you’re growing your self-trust and self-worth.”
Much love
Genna Del Bianco
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